There are moments when I succumb to a quiet desperation; a desperation fueled by a yearning to find answers to problems I have not wholly identified. I seek answers. I seek truth. I seek understanding. This anxiety has been culminating for the past few weeks (and with greater emphasis, since I see this foreign environment as a means to finding some answers) and today, I feel like I have reached a satisfying, albeit anticlimactic, epiphany.
Here it is: RELAX!!!
This constant search of mine has created an ever growing wall of pressure that often becomes self-destructive. It has bred a feeling of dissatisfaction with who I am. Change, change, change is a constant beat in my head. Today, the beat has stopped. I am relieving much of the pressure. Although I still desire change and know that I need it, I am reminding myself to have patience. At a proudly naive 20 years of age, I cannot have such expectations.
I was under the false impression that things become easier as you grow older. I linked experience and wisdom with a better understanding of life and thus, a smoother journey to our inevitable march towards death. Now I see that all these different ideas one has on Life, including mine, are relative; the relativity of Life and, in effect, the relativity of truth.
Today, I feel a bit more whole. I have reminded myself of many important things and have reached another level of understanding. I am transforming my constant search into a constant journey. A journey towards the mountaintop, towards the eternally radiant heavens...
Now, to change the subject...
There is not much to report. I decided to change one of my classes and I am now taking Film History instead of Modern History. I just started lessons this week and I already love the class. The weather in Trieste grows colder by the day and I am realizing I am not prepared. I need to go shopping for some more winter gear or pack up some winter weight. The former sounds more appealing...although, I do LOVE to eat. Decisions, decisions. I have also met some more people and we're getting along great. That's pretty much all the news I have to report on Trieste. Life is pleasant at the moment.
Last weekend, Trevor came to visit me and we had a great time. We spent the first day meandering through Venezia's beautiful streets and visiting its beautiful sights. The rest of the weekend was spent in Trieste. We did not do a lot of sightseeing, but we did have a very relaxing weekend. It was great having him here and I hope he enjoyed himself. I know he was definitely happy to get out of Paris for a few days. For greater detail on his visit, you should check out his blog. He's great with details :-D
Ciao Tutti!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Long Overdue...
A lot of time has passed since my last update, so I am not sure where to begin. I guess a chronological approach would work best.
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I had hoped to take a weekend trip before my classes began. I did. I departed for Switzerland on the 18th before the sun had risen. Each time I board a train, I feel an exhilaration like no other, and this time was no different. The excitement of the journey was not enough to keep me awake, so I slowly drifted into a light slumber, partly induced by the gentle rocking of the train. The train ride had began as one would expect, but the smooth flow would not last. Approximately 3 hours into the journey, the train broke down in the middle of nowhere. As I see smoke running besides us, an announcement declares that the train has broken down. Two hours pass before another train arrives to haul us to the nearest station. We then board another train heading to Milano. Needless to say, it was not the greatest start to my excursion, but it wasn't the end of the world. And, on a brighter note, Trenitalia did provide us with free cookies, water, and candy bars. Once in Milano, I boarded my train heading to Bern (a very nice train, at that) and relaxed while taking in the sights. As we traveled closer and closer to Switzerland, I noticed the landscape going through a dramatic transformation. The beauty increased tenfold and I was overcome by the sheer beauty of the landscape. Towering, emerald mountains against the deep silver of the sky created a scene that I hope forever remains in my heart. I made it to my destination after 13 hours of traveling.
I will not go into great detail on account of my laziness, but I had an amazing time and created memories that will last. My days passed quickly and I was able to see a lot of Switzerland: Zurich, Bern, Lucerne, and Steinen. I also had a great time with my friend. He was a gracious host and showed me a great time around that beautiful country of his. I did not want to leave, but Trieste was waiting for me. Looking back now, it all seems like a dream: the green hills, the strolls around cities, the late night drives, the endless lakes, the cows and their bells playing a chaotic, yet soothing melody, and the stars up above. Yes, Swtizerland, you have captured my heart and I cannot wait for our next encounter.
Upon my return, I felt a strange sensation. Although I did not want to leave, I was also happy to be back. I felt home, once again. Trieste had been waiting for me and I was glad to be back. The next two weeks were relatively uneventful. I have continued running regularly and am always pleasantly surprised that Trieste's beauty continues to inspire me. My affection grows stronger instead of diminishing. And I am happy for that.
I have began meeting more people in my dorm and have been going out with them. Most of them are from Spain and are very friendly and fun-loving people. My friend Irina has also arrived, since classes have started. She's also very friendly and fun to be with. I'm glad I have finally met people that I can hang out with and get to know. As for my courses, I will be taking 4 this semester, but only 2 begin in October. I just completed my first week of lectures, and I have to admit that I feel very overwhelmed. My grasp of Italian isn't up to par and thus, I am having great difficulty understanding the lectures. But, it is to be expected. These are regular courses at an Italian university, so there are terms and words that I don't understand. In time, I know it will get easier. So now, I am trying to prepare myself as best as possible. Our school systems are very different, so I have to make a much larger effort, which is something I am not accustomed to. But one must keep positive, and I know this experience is one that I must go through. The rewards will be great.
Until next time.
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I had hoped to take a weekend trip before my classes began. I did. I departed for Switzerland on the 18th before the sun had risen. Each time I board a train, I feel an exhilaration like no other, and this time was no different. The excitement of the journey was not enough to keep me awake, so I slowly drifted into a light slumber, partly induced by the gentle rocking of the train. The train ride had began as one would expect, but the smooth flow would not last. Approximately 3 hours into the journey, the train broke down in the middle of nowhere. As I see smoke running besides us, an announcement declares that the train has broken down. Two hours pass before another train arrives to haul us to the nearest station. We then board another train heading to Milano. Needless to say, it was not the greatest start to my excursion, but it wasn't the end of the world. And, on a brighter note, Trenitalia did provide us with free cookies, water, and candy bars. Once in Milano, I boarded my train heading to Bern (a very nice train, at that) and relaxed while taking in the sights. As we traveled closer and closer to Switzerland, I noticed the landscape going through a dramatic transformation. The beauty increased tenfold and I was overcome by the sheer beauty of the landscape. Towering, emerald mountains against the deep silver of the sky created a scene that I hope forever remains in my heart. I made it to my destination after 13 hours of traveling.
I will not go into great detail on account of my laziness, but I had an amazing time and created memories that will last. My days passed quickly and I was able to see a lot of Switzerland: Zurich, Bern, Lucerne, and Steinen. I also had a great time with my friend. He was a gracious host and showed me a great time around that beautiful country of his. I did not want to leave, but Trieste was waiting for me. Looking back now, it all seems like a dream: the green hills, the strolls around cities, the late night drives, the endless lakes, the cows and their bells playing a chaotic, yet soothing melody, and the stars up above. Yes, Swtizerland, you have captured my heart and I cannot wait for our next encounter.
Upon my return, I felt a strange sensation. Although I did not want to leave, I was also happy to be back. I felt home, once again. Trieste had been waiting for me and I was glad to be back. The next two weeks were relatively uneventful. I have continued running regularly and am always pleasantly surprised that Trieste's beauty continues to inspire me. My affection grows stronger instead of diminishing. And I am happy for that.
I have began meeting more people in my dorm and have been going out with them. Most of them are from Spain and are very friendly and fun-loving people. My friend Irina has also arrived, since classes have started. She's also very friendly and fun to be with. I'm glad I have finally met people that I can hang out with and get to know. As for my courses, I will be taking 4 this semester, but only 2 begin in October. I just completed my first week of lectures, and I have to admit that I feel very overwhelmed. My grasp of Italian isn't up to par and thus, I am having great difficulty understanding the lectures. But, it is to be expected. These are regular courses at an Italian university, so there are terms and words that I don't understand. In time, I know it will get easier. So now, I am trying to prepare myself as best as possible. Our school systems are very different, so I have to make a much larger effort, which is something I am not accustomed to. But one must keep positive, and I know this experience is one that I must go through. The rewards will be great.
Until next time.
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