Time is...

The leaves, strewn across cobblestone paths, succumbing to the weight of footsteps in a moment of excruciating pleasure; a moment wherein these two forces reach an ecstasy that is gone before fully understood, and forgotten by the time the foot's contact ceases; and all that remain are the leaves, golden, and in ruin. Does there exist a more emphatic scene to demonstrate the passage of time? Once a vibrant green and atop majestic trees, the leaves now decorate the streets, and with the softest of whispers, remind us that the sands of Time continue to fall.

Time, a perpetual entity by its very nature, is the contradiction of man, of mortality. Yet, it is our very own mortality that comes to be defined in terms of this eternal entity. This juxtaposition between the eternal and the non-eternal creates a relationship that is oftentimes menacing, for once those grains of sands have fallen, they cannot be regained. This, however, should not be cause for anxiety. Time, in itself, is objective, neither good nor bad. It is man's mind that decorates it, and turns it from the objective to the subjective. And thus, it is from man's mind that we harness (albeit superficially) Time, and in many ways, it is with the mind that we come to define it. Man's perspective has the ability to shape, create, and distort. Therefore, it is no surprise that the definition of time is relative in relation to each individual's perspective. I apologize for this discombobulated piece. Through this mess, I am simply asking what does time mean for you? And more importantly, being aware of your mortality, are you using your time wisely? It is almost too heavy of a question to ask, and one that cannot be answered easily.

Tomorrow I will have been here for three months, and this is a question I have been asking myself as of late. In reality, I have had many enjoyable experiences within those three months: I spent a great weekend in Paris with loved ones (and as I remember, I am struck by the immense beauty that comes from spending time with those you love. Our strolls through chaotic streets, through slumbering neighborhoods, through herds of people, along a quietly flowing Seine, the glasses of wine, the laughter, the music floating all around, the jolts of the Metro, the smiles. Yes, Paris is alive! She breathes, she feels, she smiles, she cries. With one seductive kiss, she fills your lungs with her taste, and instantly, you are forever altered.  All of this beauty, and I have shared it with you two. Thank you.), I partied the night away in Ljubljana with new friends, I have seen a notable improvement in my conversational skills, I have ran along a glistening Adriatic while the sun set in a glorious blaze, as if it were her last, I have walked home at night (from parties, dinners, gatherings), I have danced, laughed, smiled, I have felt the caressing touch of rain, I have felt the cold chill of the Bora, and I have felt the warmth of a smiling sun. It's funny, looking at this list (and although I have let many things out), it seems like I have enjoyed many great experiences. Why doesn't it feel like it is enough? Am I expecting too much? From whom? I don't know the answer yet, but I am sure I will find it...hopefully. I know that I am incredibly fortunate to be in the position that I find myself in. This is, for all intents and purposes, an opportunity of a lifetime. I hope I am making the most of my time here.

In Constant Search

There are moments when I succumb to a quiet desperation; a desperation fueled by a yearning to find answers to problems I have not wholly identified. I seek answers. I seek truth. I seek understanding. This anxiety has been culminating for the past few weeks (and with greater emphasis, since I see this foreign environment as a means to finding some answers) and today, I feel like I have reached a satisfying, albeit anticlimactic, epiphany.

Here it is: RELAX!!!

This constant search of mine has created an ever growing wall of pressure that often becomes self-destructive. It has bred a feeling of dissatisfaction with who I am. Change, change, change is a constant beat in my head. Today, the beat has stopped. I am relieving much of the pressure. Although I still desire change and know that I need it, I am reminding myself to have patience. At a proudly naive 20 years of age, I cannot have such expectations.

I was under the false impression that things become easier as you grow older. I linked experience and wisdom with a better understanding of life and thus, a smoother journey to our inevitable march towards death. Now I see that all these different ideas one has on Life, including mine, are relative; the relativity of Life and, in effect, the relativity of truth.

Today, I feel a bit more whole. I have reminded myself of many important things and have reached another level of understanding. I am transforming my constant search into a constant journey. A journey towards the mountaintop, towards the eternally radiant heavens...


Now, to change the subject...

There is not much to report. I decided to change one of my classes and I am now taking Film History instead of Modern History. I just started lessons this week and I already love the class. The weather in Trieste grows colder by the day and I am realizing I am not prepared. I need to go shopping for some more winter gear or pack up some winter weight. The former sounds more appealing...although, I do LOVE to eat. Decisions, decisions. I have also met some more people and we're getting along great. That's pretty much all the news I have to report on Trieste. Life is pleasant at the moment.

Last weekend, Trevor came to visit me and we had a great time. We spent the first day meandering through Venezia's beautiful streets and visiting its beautiful sights. The rest of the weekend was spent in Trieste. We did not do a lot of sightseeing, but we did have a very relaxing weekend. It was great having him here and I hope he enjoyed himself. I know he was definitely happy to get out of Paris for a few days. For greater detail on his visit, you should check out his blog. He's great with details :-D

Ciao Tutti!

Long Overdue...

A lot of time has passed since my last update, so I am not sure where to begin. I guess a chronological approach would work best.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I had hoped to take a weekend trip before my classes began. I did. I departed for Switzerland on the 18th before the sun had risen. Each time I board a train, I feel an exhilaration like no other, and this time was no different. The excitement of the journey was not enough to keep me awake, so I slowly drifted into a light slumber, partly induced by the gentle rocking of the train. The train ride had began as one would expect, but the smooth flow would not last. Approximately 3 hours into the journey, the train broke down in the middle of nowhere. As I see smoke running besides us, an announcement declares that the train has broken down. Two hours pass before another train arrives to haul us to the nearest station. We then board another train heading to Milano. Needless to say, it was not the greatest start to my excursion, but it wasn't the end of the world. And, on a brighter note, Trenitalia did provide us with free cookies, water, and candy bars.  Once in Milano, I boarded my train heading to Bern (a very nice train, at that) and relaxed while taking in the sights. As we traveled closer and closer to Switzerland, I noticed the landscape going through a dramatic transformation. The beauty increased tenfold and I was overcome by the sheer beauty of the landscape. Towering, emerald mountains against the deep silver of the sky created a scene that I hope forever remains in my heart. I made it to my destination after 13 hours of traveling.

I will not go into great detail on account of my laziness, but I had an amazing time and created memories that will last. My days passed quickly and I was able to see a lot of Switzerland: Zurich, Bern, Lucerne, and Steinen. I also had a great time with my friend. He was a gracious host and showed me a great time around that beautiful country of his. I did not want to leave, but Trieste was waiting for me. Looking back now, it all seems like a dream: the green hills, the strolls around cities, the late night drives, the endless lakes, the cows and their bells playing a chaotic, yet soothing melody, and the stars up above. Yes, Swtizerland, you have captured my heart and I cannot wait for our next encounter.

Upon my return, I felt a strange sensation. Although I did not want to leave, I was also happy to be back. I felt home, once again. Trieste had been waiting for me and I was glad to be back. The next two weeks were relatively uneventful. I have continued running regularly and am always pleasantly surprised that Trieste's beauty continues to inspire me. My affection grows stronger instead of diminishing. And I am happy for that.

I have began meeting more people in my dorm and have been going out with them. Most of them are from Spain and are very friendly and fun-loving people. My friend Irina has also arrived, since classes have started. She's also very friendly and fun to be with. I'm glad I have finally met people that I can hang out with and get to know. As for my courses, I will be taking 4 this semester, but only 2 begin in October. I just completed my first week of lectures, and I have to admit that I feel very overwhelmed. My grasp of Italian isn't up to par and thus, I am having great difficulty understanding the lectures. But, it is to be expected. These are regular courses at an Italian university, so there are terms and words that I don't understand. In time, I know it will get easier. So now, I am trying to prepare myself as best as possible. Our school systems are very different, so I have to make a much larger effort, which is something I am not accustomed to. But one must keep positive, and I know this experience is one that I must go through. The rewards will be great.

Until next time. 

"through the age of silent sunrise..."

As I breathed in such powerful words, inhaled its beauty in hope that it would caress the soul, the towering trees creating a protective shade that filters all but a few rays, I felt such pleasurable isolation. Oh what splendid joy. Oh what...a mosquito! I gave him a glare that signified disgust and quickly swatted it away. I attempted to submerge myself in the realm of Ms. Woolf once more, but I knew it was of no use. The mosquito would return. Normally, I would not have let an insignificant blood sucker ruin such joy, but these incessant pests have taken a liking to my blood. As it stands now, I have about eight, itchy bite marks all over my body. An increase in that number is not an option (although I know it is likely to increase), so I departed from that haven and made my way down to the more frequented path. Thus, my excursion to Il Castello Miramare ended and I made my way towards La Barcola, a promenade along the Adriatic.

The Castello Miramare is a very beautiful sight. It is situated on a cliff overlooking the Adriatic. There is also a huge park that makes up the area. Definitely a sight to explore. Once you leave the park grounds, La Barcola begins. Since Trieste lacks any real beaches, people lay their towel on this promenade and sunbathe there. It was interesting to see everyone taking in the sun and enjoying the beautiful weather. It was also nice to see the freedom people exercised while sunbathing, something I'm not accustomed to in the USA. I brought my running attire and decided to jog from the beginning of La Barcola back into the city. Oh what exhilaration one feels while running and taking in the beautiful and free-spirited atmosphere. I eventually reached my destination, Trieste's central train station. Drenched in sweat, I boarded the number 17 bus and made my way back to the university.

Besides this wonderful excursion, I haven't partaken in anything of real interest. I spent four days and traveled to 5 different offices in order to apply for my permit of stay. Unfortunately, my application was two days past the due date (Italy only gives you 8 working days to complete it). I hope it won't be a problem, since much of the delay was out of my control. I have also chosen my courses for the year and I'm very excited. I'll be taking some philosophy courses, some political science courses, and some history courses...all in Italian. This week I hope to start meeting more people. I am attending a meeting with an organization directly involved with ERASMUS (the study abroad organization of the EU) and I plan to join an Italian-American group in October. Classes begin the first week of October, so I really want to do something exciting before they begin. Hopefully I can take a weekend trip somewhere.

Oh, and I killed my first mosquito last night. Hopefully that will serve as a warning to the other mosquitoes that I am no longer playing nice.

Here are some pics: Click here!!!

Oh Trieste, What a Fickle Mistress You Are

As  I begin the fourth day of my stay in Trieste, I am becoming aware of how intricately complicated she really is. Although I have only had but a morsel of her, that morsel has been sufficient to create an infatuation that will undoubtedly grow to love as I discover and understand more of her complex nature.

I have awoken every morning with the wind singing through my window, stirring me to wake...at six or seven a.m.  I also take the wind as a sign of how the day (in relation to the weather) will be. I dress the part, only to realize that the wind is a false warning. This happened to me on the second day while my friend Abby and I were going to run errands. I changed into some warm weather clothing and we both headed out. I in shorts and a t-shirt and she in shorts and a blouse. Our mission that day was to locate a school building in the historic district and attend a meeting. I, of course, being in charge of the map, managed to get us lost. As we wandered in and out of quaint streets, we noticed dark skies heading our way. She, being from Vermont, was quick to point out that rain would soon be upon us. Surely enough, the rain began to pour some minutes later. The first drizzle was like heaven. It had been so long since I had felt rain. Each drop renewed my spirit and solidified my joy; it solidified how truly happy I am to be in this exact location at this exact moment in my life. The drizzle soon turned into a downpour and I fruitlessly tried to find our way. I finally decided to give the map to Abby (something I should have done in the first place). I found out that she has a much better sense of direction than I. We continued through beautiful streets and neighborhoods and got closer to our destination, but the rain was falling with more vigor, so we found a building that had some shelter and took cover. We waited until the rain passed and continued our trek. After our meeting, we explored a little more of the historic and waterfront district and had dinner at a lovely restaurant. I must admit, it was quite the romantic evening, ha ha.

Yesterday, on the other hand, was not nearly as great. I spent my whole day helping my friend Abby (and may I add my only friend here) buy a ticket back home. Unfortunately, this city and this program were not a good fit for her. She was not happy and needed to go back. She's currently on her way back home. I dropped her off at the train station last night. I wish her the best of luck with everything and it was a pleasure getting to know her.

So now,  I find myself in a precarious situation, but one that will reap great rewards if I am successful. As far as I know, I am the only American at this University and I have not had the opportunity to get to know anyone else. I chose this particular program because it was labeled as "full-immersion," which I found to be very exciting. I now know that label was in no way an exaggeration. The dorm I live in is not set up in a way that promotes interaction and the "orientation" mentioned in my packet is nonexistent. With no real direction or guidance, it is basically up to me do figure everything out, which both excites me and frightens me...nay, it ONLY excites me! I look forward to this challenge and figuring out ways to overcome it. I am sure it will turn out great...

But anyhoo, here are some pics of the University and Trieste. Enjoy!

 

Sono Finalmente Arrivato

After what seemed like ages, I have finally arrived at my final destination: Trieste! I must say that from what I've seen, I'm really going to love it. It is beautiful and much bigger than I pictured it in my head. It's also a city on a hill, which makes for some amazing views. It took some time to get here, though.

I started from SFO and had a very pleasant plane ride with British Airways. Great movie selections so I spent most of my time watching them instead of trying to sleep. I ended up getting an hour of sleep, BUT, I was able to watch Fargo and see the famous wood chipper scene; the highlight of my plane ride. I also sat next to this nice, young couple from Lille, France. I arrived in London and things continued to flow smoothly. I changed airports with little hassle and before I knew it, I was waiting...and waiting...and waiting at the Gatwick airport for my flight to Venice. There is nothing like sitting around and doing nothing to add weight to the eyelids. After a 3 hour wait, I got on my plane and went onward to Venezia. As soon as that plane took off, the eyelids dropped and I was snoozing for most of the plane ride. It was definitely an uncomfortable snooze, but I needed it. Once I arrived in Venice, I was able it easily find my bus to the hostel. I really enjoyed my stay there. It was outside the city so I wasn't able to see anything, but the hostel was very self-contained. I didn't get to enjoy any of it, however, because my body craved rest. I finally fell asleep around ten p.m.

I'm not sure what it was,  but it hadn't fully dawned on me that I was actually in Europe. I enjoyed seeing the countryside while switching airports in London, but it still seemed unreal. Plus, my lack of energy made me too tired to feel emotions or think. It wasn't until this morning that I realized: "Wow, I'm in Italy and beginning an incredible new phase in my life." It all came rushing into me as soon as I caught a glimpse of Venice. Its beautiful silhouette as the bus drove closer was like a splash of cold water to the face. I could do nothing but smile. I am happy. I am in Italy...I really wish I could have explored the city, but I had to go straight to the stazione Santa Lucia. There, I bought a ticket to Trieste. I was very fortunate, since the train departed only minutes after I bought the ticket. I was on my way to my final destination.

There is something truly magical about trains. It stirs the soul in ways other modes of transportation can't. It must be the hypnotic rhythm of the wheels hitting the tracks mixed with the possibility of discovery. It is definitely my preferred mode of transportation and I hope to take many more train rides as time unfolds. (I'm growing tired once more, so I will end this quickly). I arrived in Trieste, ate, and began looking for the university. I felt adventurous (for some strange reason) walking around the city and trying to find my way around this foreign land, all the while dragging two heavy pieces of luggage. That sense of adventure soon turned into a feeling of malcontent, as I realized I was not acting in the most efficient way. Although I did enjoy seeing more of the city, I could have easily bypassed the sweat and fatigue. I caught a bus that took me directly to the school. That was when the fun started...I spent about two hours going up and down hills, asking people for help and all to no avail. All the while dragging these suitcases that seemed to get heavier as the minutes passed. I felt so pathetic. I can only laugh at it now, but I was feeling a little frustrated, and VERY tired. I finally found my dorm (on my own, since everyone I asked didn't know where I could find it). It was fitting that I had to make one final push to reach it. I had to drag my two suitcases down four or five flights of stairs. I'm sure I made a great impression on the lady at the front desk who gave me my keys. Picture a VERY handsome man, literally dripping with sweat, and out of breath. Once that was over, I got a quick shower and went out to run some errands. I met the other American here and we're getting along well. She's from Vermont.